Assigning Value
Dear Aiden and Evan,
I want to talk to you about value. Sounds exciting, right??? Believe it or not, it's a notion that already impacts your daily life. Once you learn to navigate it proactively, you can better your life and the lives of those around you. Some of what I say here might seem abstract, and that's ok. Hear me now, believe me later.
Relationships:
Getting to know people will always be complicated. This truth transcends age, geography, economics, and just about any other variable you care to name. You will need to decide who adds value to your life, who can help you attain your goals. Just as important, you will need to ascertain whose life you can speak into, adding value and improving their existence. It’s important to remember that relationships will come in many different forms. From professional and co-workers to lifelong friends and passing acquaintances, to family and even someday romantic interests….all of these have the ability to add value to your journey.
As we live in an imperfect world, the reality is that relationships can be unhealthy and even devalue you and the things that are important to you. Create for yourself a community of relationships that maintain a quid pro quo of sorts. You lift them up, they reciprocate. And to make this even more complex...you should even seek to add value into those who don’t respond in like fashion. Maybe do so with your eyes wide open and with caution, but be the better person whenever you deem it safe to do so. I promise, I will do my very best to help you along the way.
Money:
Money makes many people uncomfortable. I submit that just like any difficult pursuit, if you can get comfortable while being uncomfortable, there are rewards, and value to be had. Most adults, myself included, wrestle with this on a regular basis. What is important is that you remain aware of the struggle, the tension. If you can do that, you are ahead of the game. Make no mistake about it, you can do good with your finances, you can also cause harm to them. I believe all the material possessions we have been given to us as blessings. Therefore, we should seek to use them in a manner that is respectful of them as being gifts, not earned rights. Be patient. Make thoughtful decisions. Search for the right and wrong in your thought process. If you are acting in good faith, for the betterment of someone else, proceed with confidence in any circumstances that are time-sensitive. I am confident your good intentions will be honored in the end. Don’t ever devalue another human being by presuming you can fix any challenge they have by simply writing a check.
Time:
Even if your bank account is low, even if you find yourself in a relationship drought or deficit….you will undoubtedly still have time. Meanwhile, you cannot manufacture more time, nor can you rewind or hit the delete button on time. Use your time wisely. Make deliberate choices about what activities or pursuits will return the most value to your walk , and therefore also into your chosen communities. When you misstep, and you will, make time to reflect and decide how to make better decisions next time. The mark of a wise man is not necessarily in avoiding mistakes, but rather in how he responds to mistakes and challenges.
That's it for now, boys.
I hope you took this in, and ideally, save it for future reference. By no means is my dialogue here meant to suggest that I have all the answers or even ANY of them. I just hope my love for you and my commitment to being as good a dad as possible comes through in my words.
